Melancholia
by intothedeep27
Summary: Five years were long alone and Jane was tired. The Snap took everything, leaving her with nothing but her thoughts and research that had no use to anyone but herself. But one day, Loki suddenly appears in her home, and against her better judgement, she makes the unexpected decision to nurse the Trickster back to health. [Lokane]
1. Chapter 1

**Summary**:_ Five years were long alone and Jane was tired. The Snap took everything, leaving her with nothing but her thoughts and research that had no use to anyone but herself. But one day, Loki suddenly appears in her home, and against her better judgement, she makes the unexpected decision to nurse the Trickster back to health. _

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**Disclaimer**: I don't own Thor because if I did I wouldn't have treated Thor and Loki's respective character arcs as dirty and shitty as the Russo Brothers did. All I want are my two boys to live happily but it seems I'm going to have to beat up the Russo Brothers for thEIR BLATANT DISRESPECT OF MY BEAUTIFUL NORSE GODS.

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**Melancholia**, n. Greek  
_A state of deep wistfulness, misery, and withdrawal._

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_**Melancholia  
**_ 01

Five years.

Five _long_ years of surviving, simply living every day like it might be her last. Unlike before, there was no Darcy to greet her in the morning and to annoy her for her lack of knowledge on how to use technology, there was no Erik to share a brain that was just as big as hers to talk about new discoveries about the stars.

For Jane, every day was a struggle to wake up, to breathe, to live; she was just..._tired_. By _God,_ was she exhausted. She wasn't sure how long she could continue going like this, through life the way she was right now.

As Jane dragged herself out of bed and into her kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee, a faint, but familiar pain, raced throughout her body. She sighed with resignation, her sudden grip on the mug causing her knuckles to turn white with her effort not to make a sound. This pain, sadly, signaled the start of her fits. When they first began, right before the Snap, she had been terrified of what it meant. The initial thoughts that ran rampant through her head were reasonable in her opinion – had the Aether somehow returned back to her body? Did it somehow alter her and now was killing her again?

Was she going to die?

But what she hadn't known then that she knew now was that whatever pain she felt would disappear within seconds. Only, they returned within days in a cycle. Although, sometimes she would go weeks without one. There was never truly a pattern – it occurred sporadically throughout her life now.

Over and over and _over again_.

She no longer knew the exact number – while she never got used to the pain, she was able to adjust her life around it.

Leaning on the counter, Jane took a minute like she always did to let the pain subside, to let the phantom pain run its course. Typically, it went away after a minute, give or take.

But after waiting, the pain remained, getting even stronger.

It did not take Jane long to realize that something was wrong. It continued in a vengeance; with every second that passed, the pain worsened, ultimately forcing her collapse onto the ground, grinding her teeth to prevent a scream to leave her mouth. Through the haze of pain, she knew that screaming bloody murder would do her no good and failed to help her with anything in her current situation.

Excruciating pain continued to flood her system, though, and with her thoughts all over the place, she was left gasping for air, her back now flat against the cabinet.

It hurt so bad –_ it never hurt like this before_.

She wasn't able to stop herself from screaming. As minutes passed and when the pain _finally _ceased, it left Jane with tears streaks and her throat raw, her body racked with uncontrollable tremors that failed to stop. Although the room was now silent, her quiet sobs made it feel smaller and claustrophobic. Although, the ringing in her ears that was slowly ebbing away gave way for some sense of comfort.

Pulling her knees up to her chest, she wrapped her arms around herself and rested her forehead on the top of her knees, trying to catch her breath and to calm herself. She was unsure how long she found herself in this position, simply trying to wrap her mind around what just happened – _because there was always a first for her life, even now it seemed _– when she heard _it_, stopping her in her tracks.

A guttural gasping that was not her own.

In Jane's current position sitting in the kitchen with her back slouched against the cabinet, the island in front of her blocked her line of sight into the living room, where the sound was originating from. While fear had coursed through her body from the fit, now all she could feel was terror – from the Aether residue that to this day she believed remained within her, from the pain that seemed to overcome her, and now from the strange, painful groans that came from in front of her.

What was _happening?_

There were no coincidences, somehow the Aether – _and perhaps the Infinity Stones_ – had been used once again and whoever was now in her house was tied to it.

It _had_ to be.

With a shaky hand, she forced herself to crawl to the island – _she didn't trust herself to stand alone, not yet _ – and took a deep breath to steel herself. Before she could change her mind, she forced herself to turn her head around the corner – and the moment she did, she nearly fell forward in shock at what – _or who_ – she saw. Keeping her mouth shut and barely _breathing,_ she slammed herself back against the cabinet, screwing her eyes shut with disbelief a moment later.

_Impossible_, _it should be impossible_, she thought to herself.

Unfortunately for her, the cabinet did not magically disappear and swallow her into a new dimension, as much as she had hoped and prayed that it would. Instead, her back remained flat against the storage unit, its handle digging into her upper back. Jane knew exactly was she was doing to herself at this moment – she was falling into a panic, causing her thoughts to give her nearly an overload of useless information that she had no need for.

_What?_

_How?_

_...Why?_

Jane ignored everything that was happening around her – her faucet was still running water and her coffee machine beeping. The groaning continued for a few minutes until that too passed, but there was still no movement from the living room. Her house was eerily silent, only the occasional sound from the beeping machine telling her of time's passage. The sole reason she snapped out of whatever stupor she was in was due to the groans of pain beginning again.

This time, she forced herself to crawl towards the man, her eyes never leaving the body on the floor of her living room. She moved forward slowly at first, taking her time in case she had to dart backward to safety until she found herself barely an inch away from him. She hadn't noticed earlier but now as she _really _looked at him, she heard a gasp leave her mouth.

Although whatever he wore had a mock neck design, it did little to conceal the purples and blues that marred his skin in an uneven circle of thick splotches around his neck – an ugly sight on his unnaturally pale skin. Jane remembered he had been eerily pale from the beginning when she first met him, but there had still been a healthy glow to it. Yet, as she looked at him now, she refused to believe that he had been _this pale _– he was only half a shade away from blue. To add to her anxiety, the cloak that he laid on was spread all around him with bloodstains splattered across it _and _his armor.

She hoped that the blood wasn't his, but judging by his current state, she couldn't be sure as to whose it was.

_God, she hoped it wasn't his._

"_How_?" she whispered to herself, remembering exactly what Thor had told her when Thanos had killed half of the universe.

The person before her was...Loki.

But Loki was dead, _killed_ by that psychotic alien. Thor had seen it with his own eyes, he said, and he had been sure that his brother was truly dead this time, that there were no hidden spells and tricks to bring the Norse god back to life. Not to mention, that conversation was five years old, last when she saw the God of Thunder; the first and only time she interacted with the Asgardian after their break up a few months prior to the Snap.

Jane looked down at her hand, the black screen of her phone reflecting an image of herself. She was tempted to call Natasha or Valkyrie but at this thought but she gulped, half-heartedly deciding against it. For once, she refused to be a burden on the remaining Avengers, knowing that they had lost more than she could ever fathom. While she lost those she loved, she knew that they had lost everything. They were the ones to fight Thanos, to try and protect not only Earth but to protect all life, both familiar and alien. She could never imagine the weight of that responsibility, and then only to lose, to know that they failed at preventing the death of trillions and trillions of lives across the Universe.

If she had been one of the Avengers, she would not be able to live with herself.

So Jane knew that calling the Avengers – _or what remained of them_ – was only to be a last resort. Pocketing her phone, she leaned slightly forward, trying to get a closer look at Loki when he gasped for air, his eyes shooting open. For a split second, their eyes met as he held her gaze, somehow freezing her in place. But whatever moment that occurred between them broke when he suddenly jerked his chin upwards, hissing in pain – for her, this triggered a scream and a fall backward.

Bloodshot and dazed with pain, Loki's green eyes were unable to focus on anything but her own as it bore into hers, refusing to break contact once more. He stretched his arm out in a weak attempt to grab her, but she moved further out of his reach and simply watched as his arm fell back to the floor with a loud thud. He then attempted to get up, but the moment he tried any sort of movement off the ground must have caused pain, as the trickster suddenly yelped and arched his back. Within seconds, his eyes rolled back into his head as he fell unconscious, leaving her alone with previously thought to be dead Asgardian.

Her harsh breathing echoed throughout the house as Jane could only gulp, her eyes refusing to leave Loki's body.

This was a dream – _this was a dream, it couldn't be happening to her._

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**01** – **End**

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**A/N**: _I am MAD. As good as Endgame was, the way they treated Thor was horrible. Any sort of character development that Taika Waititi helped create was obviously thrown away by the Russo Brothers like it was NOTHING. Not to mention the fact that Loki is STILL DEAD! Where is his redemption movie/scene? Huh? WHAT SUN SHINED ON THEM AGAIN?_

_God._

_Anyways, to compensate for my sadness here is a little Lokane thing I'm starting. Please forgive me for any errors you may find yourself reading – it's been a fat MINUTE since I last wrote anything worthwhile._

_Please review!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary**:_ Five years were long alone and Jane was tired. The Snap took everything, leaving her with nothing but her thoughts and research that had no use to anyone but herself. But one day, Loki suddenly appears in her home, and against her better judgement, she makes the unexpected decision to nurse the Trickster back to health._

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**Disclaimer**: I don't own Thor/Marvel because if I did I wouldn't have treated my boys so dirty like the Russo Brothers did.

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**Quick A/N:**_ I have a long author's note at the end so...you've been warned. Take this as you will._

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**Melancholia**, n. Greek  
_A state of deep wistfulness, misery, and withdrawal._

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_**Melancholia  
**_ 02

Jane stared at Loki for a few minutes, eyes wide and blinking, until he groaned in pain and woke up once again. This time, she refused to freak out and instead leaned in closer, placing a hand on the floor to balance herself.

"Loki, can you hear me?" she asked, moving her hand side to side in front of him. He still seemed dazed but there was an alertness to his eyes that made her continue. "I need you to get up."

He opened his mouth as if to say something, but the moment he tried to speak he went into a coughing fit, his eyes clenched shut in pain. Instead of watching and doing nothing, Jane tried to help him sit up – something he did with no hesitation, allowing her to place her hands on him to guide him, much to her surprise as she had assumed he would refuse any sort of help from her.

As his coughing continued, Jane came to the conclusion that she had no idea what to do. At this point, Loki had a hand on his own neck as she sat there simply watching. Ice, maybe, would help with the pain?

Didn't hurt to try.

Taking one last look at Loki, she stood up and ran to her drawers, hoping somehow that she would be able to find ice compresses. Sadly, she found none, which meant she would need to resort to other, more _creative_ methods. She was quick to throw open the freezer door, searching a frozen bag of anything; her eyes quickly narrowed in on a bag of strawberries she had forgotten about and despite her situation, smiled a little to herself.

It was better than nothing.

As Jane rushed back, she found Loki's eyes following her every move, unnerving her. She sat down and noticed his lack of coughing, but the glare he was giving her had her question whether or not she truly wanted to help the man with his injuries.

She was _deathly_ afraid of the god sitting in front of her. The last she had seen of him, he had died on that accursed planet she tried to forget about trying to save them all. Although Valkyrie, Bruce, _and_ Thor mentioned that he was a changed person, it still did nothing to change the fact that he had hurt Erik during the invasion of New York all those years ago. Her mentor was never the same and for that, she would never forgive Loki.

A quiet hiss drew Jane out of her thoughts and she saw his hand still on his neck. Somehow, in the span of a few minutes, the bruises on his neck worsened into a nastier color, making her realize just how dire their current situation was.

Pressing her lips together, she began to lift the frozen fruits when a hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, gripping it with a strength that incited enough pain to cause a yelp to leave her mouth – although it was more from the surprise of it than anything.

Jane dropped the bag onto the floor. Her head flew up to meet Loki's, her eyes widening with disbelief; he, on the other hand, remained silent, but the darkening of his eyes was enough to have her rushing to explain what she was trying to do. "I'm just trying to ice your neck," she said, simultaneously pulling on his grip. Despite just how injured he was, he was unsurprisingly much stronger than her, much to her dismay. "I'm not going to – just let me go, will you? I'm not trying to hurt you!"

He contemplated her words for a few more moments before doing exactly that, dropping her wrist as if she was a nuisance. She sat there, her stomach heavy with dread and her wrist in her other hand, as she watched him grab the bag from the floor and place it against his neck himself. She didn't move after this as Loki closed his eyes and sighed with relief.

Although he seemed better – conscious and all – he was nowhere near what she would associate the word _okay_ with, that much was abundantly clear. With half-sunken in eyes that were bloodshot to hell, there were slight tremors in his hands that he was doing quite well to hide from her. It was clear that simply sitting on her wooden floor was sapping his energy, though, which brought Jane to the next issue at hand.

She needed to move him.

Before she could bring up the idea of getting up and moving, in a split second he suddenly swayed forward, his eyes fluttering. Forgetting about what just transpired a minute ago, with quick thinking she reached and caught him to make sure he didn't crack his head like an egg on the floor. With quick and shallow breaths, she wished that he would be conscious enough to help them both get him to the closest room.

"H-Hey, I need you to stay awake for a little bit more." Jane started to stand up and maneuvered herself around Loki until she stood behind his back, both of her hands underneath his armpits. "Loki – _hey_, don't pass out yet!"

Jane tried to pull him up and for a second, she truly believed he fainted again, but the weight on her hands suddenly disappeared as she stumbled backward in an attempt to give him space; Loki had managed to pull himself off the ground, although it was accompanied with painful hissing leaving his mouth. She continued to have her hands out as a precaution, and nearly had a heart attack when the Asgardian pitched forward again, nearly falling back down; luckily, he caught himself on her couch and staggered back up, a death grip on the cushions the only thing preventing a fall.

He was nowhere near his full height at the moment, with his back and neck slouched forward, but even then, for Jane's five three stature, he was nearly a foot taller than her. If he really _did_ collapse, she would be no help in stopping his crash to the ground. Then they'd be in _real_ trouble.

Making the executive decision, she decided against asking permission to touch him and wrapped her right arm around his back; he silently rested his left hand on her shoulder in response, allowing her to lead them. It was a struggle, as he was bumping into nearly everything around him, but within minutes he was laying on her bed, his breathing even and eyes closed as he slept.

Jane began to unbuckle his boots – _if he was going to sleep in her bed, she didn't want his shoes on it _– when her mind began to wander. Here she was, aiding Loki when she should have just called Natasha and called it a day. He wasn't her problem – he was Asgardian, so the Asgardians should be the ones dealing with him. So why exactly was she helping him?

But...Jane inkling as to why she was letting herself help him; a part of her never forgot about the incidents surrounding the Aether. She still remembered the day vividly, as if it were yesterday – the sulfuric smell of the dead planet that made her eyes water, the heat of the ground and sand beneath her, and the way Loki shielded her body with his own.

She placed one shoe on the ground absentmindedly and started on the other.

Not only that, if what Thor and Bruce had told her was true, Loki was supposedly a changed man, five years ago. Although still quite...Loki – _Thor's words, not hers_ – he had been much more aware of the consequences of his actions and was conscious of the decisions he had made before his death. She just hoped that they were right.

Once Jane finished, she quietly grabbed the blanket that had been bunched up to the side and spread it over the god before leaving the room. Checking the time, only an hour had passed since her day started and already, she wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep. Thankfully though, her mind was one step ahead and she had already planned her day out before her morning went to hell, so all she had to do was execute said plan.

So once she cleaned up the mess she had made with her coffee and put out the now slightly melted strawberries into the trash, she grabbed a jacket, threw it on, and left her home with car keys in tow. She was going shopping and would need to get medical supplies first – _items not on her mental checklist until five minutes ago_ – but other than that, she'd go about her day like usual.

Well...as normally as she could with an unconscious Asgardian in her bed.

Jane returned a few hours later, groceries and medical supplies in her hands. She first went to check on Loki and saw that hadn't moved from his position earlier, and silently thanked all the gods that she could think of. The last thing she needed to worry about was a trickster god waking up right now.

As she was putting the last of the groceries away about half an hour later, a cough drew her attention to her bedroom, the door left wide open for her to look into just in case something were to happen. Loki was stirring in the bed as he awoke, his eyes slowly blinking. She quickly grabbed a cold pack from her freezer and the antiseptic cream from the plastic bag by her foot before heading towards her room.

When she walked in, Loki was trying to sit up. "I have a cold compress for your...throat," she held up the tube of Neosporin, "and disinfectant for your cuts. I don't know if uh, human stuff will work–"

"It'll...do," he rasped, his first words since magically appearing in her house.

Jane stood still, slightly surprised, before nodding her head. "Um...okay. I think we should get you out of your clothes first." At his raised eyebrow, she muttered, "I bought some for you earlier and you're quite dirty." Placing the Neosporin aside, she picked up the bag of men's clothes she had got by the door and quickly pulled out a long sleeve t-shirt, sweats, and whatever else he would need.

However, when she looked up, she saw what she thought was a hint of contempt in his eyes, causing her to sneer and her temper to flare. "I'm sorry that they're not designer brand, _Your Highness_, but if you want to stay in bloodsoaked clothes, be my guest. I just thought you might've wanted to be comfortable." Annoyance laced her voice but whatever irritation she felt quickly dissipated when there was an awkward moment of silence before Loki looked down and nodded his head. He didn't say anything, reaching forward and grabbing the clothes from her hands. There was no hint of the person she met on Asgard; the smug, holier than thou attitude that he had oozed at the time. She had expected some sort of response but to see him like this...

He was nothing more than a broken man sitting before her.

Jane was tempted to apologize but remembering that he was someone who didn't truly care about people outside of his own self-interest, she pushed the guilt aside and walked out of the room, giving him privacy. She leaned against the wall next to the doorway, looking into her living room for a few minutes. She stared at the telescope that she had in her backyard and immediately felt a pang of sadness. Although she still continued her studies, a part of her was missing, and she had a sneaking suspicion that it was the drive of discovering the secrets of the stars. Those she cared about weren't the only things to disappear when Thanos snapped away half of the Universe.

"...Jane." Expecting Loki to be dressed, she turned back around, only to frown. Instead of being dressed in the new clothes, she saw that he still had his old clothes on, a look of pain and annoyance on his face. "My body..."

His voice was even quieter than before, something she thought was impossible. She couldn't help but stare at Loki but once she overcame the initial surprise, she sighed.

Jane wasn't clueless, she knew that he must have felt pathetic for asking her to help him do something as simple as change; in fact, any adult would feel embarrassed. That was how she knew that the pain on his face resulted not only from his injuries but also for asking help, and for a man that had as much pride as he did, that much was obvious.

...Yet, a dark part of her wanted to just leave him be, to let him try and take care of himself. The humane side of her recognized that he was injured too badly to do anything for himself and that she should help him, to not stoop to such a low level.

Nodding her head, Jane walked towards him.

Once they were able to shift him around to where his back was facing her, she began to try and take off his clothes – emphasis on the word _try_. Asgardian clothing was annoying; this was something that she remembered vividly from her last visit to the place. After five minutes, she was finally able to take off the first of his many layers of clothes. Once she got it off, saw why Loki had asked for help; as she was trying to remove his shirt, she witnessed his inability to lift his arms past his shoulders, and through the corner of her eyes, his hands continued to shake. Unlike their earlier encounter, she guessed that there was no strength to even unbutton his clothes.

As Jane finally peeled off the last of his tops, a gasp involuntarily left her mouth, causing Loki to tense up beneath her. There were several large, _painful_, scars marred all over his back, healed and discolored. Along with his old injuries, the several fresh cuts, burns, and bruises that were marked all over his body – not just his back – made her nauseous. Just _exactly_ how much pain was he hiding from her?

Gulping, she tried to look at him and instead, saw that he had his face turned away, refusing to meet her eyes. She gulped and mentally nodded her head – she needed to change the subject. Gulping, she turned to her drawers and pulled out a small hand towel. "We...we have to clean up your wounds before putting on a shirt, Loki." There was a shakiness to her voice that she was trying to ignore as she continued, "I know this is the last thing we both want to do on a Friday night, but –"

"Why?" Taken aback, Jane whirled around and saw that Loki had finally turned towards her. She remained silent, wringing the towel in her hands, as he clenched his jaw from her lack of response. "Why are you...helping me?" he whispered, his voice making it painfully aware of the extent of his throat injury.

He wasn't the only one who wondered that – Jane had spent the entire day thinking about this question herself. While she shopped for his clothes, she had thought to herself, _why?_ She had a bag of boxers and briefs in her hands at the time, unsure of the difference, when she began to question if she had gone crazy. She was housing a _terrorist_, the sole reason for Erik's mental instability in his last few years. At this thought, she had felt that telltale burning of tears behind her eyes. It had been a sudden wave of sadness and self-pity, but the last thing she had wanted to do was to wallow and cry in public, which was why she had pushed the tears down and threw in the bag of simple, white boxers into her cart before rushing to the register. But on her drive back to her house, she suddenly realized the answer.

"You saved me that day on Svartalfheim."

And without another word, she walked to the adjoined bathroom to begin cleaning his wounds.

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**02** – **End**

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**A/N:**_ Thank you so much for your support and reviews from the last chapter! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter :) _

_I watched Endgame twice already and let me tell you, I am still SO heated. I liked the movie and omg it's great, don't get me wrong. I enjoyed it greatly, but I recognize the flaws that are APPARENT in the film. Ugh. On that note, to the guests who left behind their reviews: thank you! I didn't really clarify in my last chapter as to why I was upset so, here it is! This is a mixture of a response/rant of the reviewers and the movie._

_Please follow/fav and don't forget to review! I'll try to respond to each review as quickly as possible!_

_(This is the end of my A/N and everything else is my response/rant to this movie, so you can leave now if you want!)_

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_Rant: Marvel spent so much time building up Thor's character over the course of three movies and esp. in Ragnarok, where I think Thor was the best he could possibly be. __Taika Waititi was able to show that Thor was more than his hammer, that he wasn't a dumb oaf that it seemed like he was and he was just more relatable to us fans. He was able to show us just how smart Thor was! But in both Infinity War and Endgame, the Russo Brothers gave Thor back his hammer/axe (despite Ragnarok telling us that the hammer was a way to channel and develop his powers), gave him an eye (although he was fully capable of fighting w/o one), and played with his depression, whether it be with his weight, his drinking, or his inability to "do anything right." They made it seem as if his depression was because he didn't "aim for the head." FUCK. THAT. SHIT. His depression wasn't because of a fucking FIGHT. _

_They brushed off the fact that he was ready to be King of Asgard and its people at the end of Ragnarok and instead in Endgame, they made him...forget about that? And made him just hand the throne over to Valkyrie? Excuse me? It completely disregards the whole thing with "Asgard is its people, not a place." Not only that, but Thor is over a thousand years old – he had grown up for hundreds and hundreds of years knowing that he was the next king, whether he was competent at the time. In every movie, you see this responsibility that he knows he has! He KNOWS he's going to be king and the Russo Brothers completely disregard that he accepted this role. Sure, most of his people had died, but that does not mean he needed to throw away the crown! He was willing to destroy Asgard (his home) to protect his people - he was willing to lay down his life for them. So this is why Thor is completely out of character - he's isn't a "dumb big oaf with powers" that abandons his people. They treated him with disrespect and made him the comic relief and fat joke for three freaking hours. No one treats him seriously besides Bruce and everyone thinks him to be incompetent and unable to do anything right. _

_His self-destructive habits are valid, no one would ever blame him for becoming like that. The issue is that, at the end of the day, his depression was played to be a joke and for that, I will NEVER forgive Endgame for this._

_Not only that but Loki?_

_Not only was it hard for me to believe that he would walk right past Loki's prison during that scene with Rocket, but I also find it hard to believe that he wouldn't care that Bruce didn't bring back Loki. If the Infinity Stones were truly that powerful, it should have the power to bring the guy back to life! Thor didn't mention hIS BROTHER ONCE. NOT ONCE IN ENDGAME, despite having Loki somehow appear in every Thor movie. By Ragnarok, you see that Thor cares for Loki and that they ARE brothers. Thor recognizes the flaws in Loki but loves him anyway. How dare the Russo Brothers treat Loki like he wasn't important! All that character development and FOR WHAT? Nothing! Everyone talks about how Nebula's character change/development is great and they're glad that she was a villain-turned-hero (and it is, don't get me wrong), but what about our Trickster? Huh?! WHAT ABOUT HIM._

_God, the Russo Brothers did Thor and his entire series so fucking dirty._

_Anyways, sorry for this long rant/essay! I'm also heavily biased and for that, I recognize that I may be more narrow-minded than others. I'm not mad at the guest reviewers, I simply want to rant about my opinions on this movie. Like I said earlier, I did enjoy Endgame but I recognize the flaws of it._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary**:_ Five years were long alone and Jane was tired. The Snap took everything, leaving her with nothing but her thoughts and research that had no use to anyone but herself. But one day, Loki suddenly appears in her home, and against her better judgement, she makes the unexpected decision to nurse the Trickster back to health._

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**Disclaimer**: I don't own Thor/Marvel because if I did I wouldn't have treated my boys so dirty like the Russo Brothers did.

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**Melancholia**, n. Greek  
_A state of deep wistfulness, misery, and withdrawal._

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_**Melancholia  
**_ 03

Jane stayed up all night, taking care of Loki. As the night gradually went on, she saw the clarity in his eyes slowly ebb away until she knew that she wouldn't be able to speak with the Trickster without him looking up at her in confusion. He had a fever that didn't fully break while she was awake; she spent the remainder of her energy wiping away his sweat and trying desperately to lower his temperature with the several cold compresses she was placing on his forehead.

Two hours passed when Loki's fever finally lowered, allowing Jane a temporary sigh of relief for the night.

With closed eyes and a deep breath, she quickly closed her bedroom door, although there was enough space to be able to look into the room if anything were to go wrong, and stared at the couch. There was a tired smile on her face as she realized that it had never looked more comfortable before, with its soft and slightly worn-out cushions. Her legs were heavy as lead as she walked over to it, a yawn threatening to take over her, as she plugged in her phone and left it on the end table. Sleep came quickly to Jane, who hoped for peaceful dreams.

Sadly, fate had other plans for her.

0O0

_Jane took a quick look from her spot along the corner, hoping to see where her brother was. Silently, she thought to herself that it would be impossible for him to find her when a hand suddenly clasped her shoulder. She whirled around and a frown threatened to take over her face when she saw who it was._

"_I've found you!"_

_Shrugging off the hand, she sighed. "So it seems–"_

"_Let us play Warriors again and I will give you another chance to win." Her brother's grin was infectious, though, and despite her irritation at being discovered, she nodded her head in agreement._

"_Fine, but do not worry Brother; I will win this round without your help!"_

0O0

Jane awoke to the sounds of birds chirping and the sun shining in her eyes. She yawned as she rose from her spot on her makeshift bed, her hand blindly reaching for her phone, when she froze, the sleepy haze vanishing immediately.

There were _birds_ chirping.

It was a sound she hadn't heard like this since the Snap.

Heart pounding, she nearly tripped at the blankets tangled by her feet, but she threw open the drapes and the backyard door, running outside onto the grass barefoot. The grass was still wet with morning dew, the sky clear with the sun shining, while animals were running amok throughout the forest behind her.

Jane threw her head to the sky above before turning to the trees that stood tall around her home. She didn't bother hiding her smile and with laughter, she was turning in a circle and following the largest flock of birds she had seen in five years until they were hidden by the canopy of the forest. Her eyes quickly turned to down see a fawn with its mother shaking her head as it ate at the grass. Squirrels and other small creatures roamed the forest and the trees in a way she hadn't seen since life went to hell.

She couldn't believe it – was this a dream?

Jane, with a shaky hand, felt something fall on her cheek, and when her finger grazed her face, she found it wet. She was crying.

With her heart and mind racing, she rushed back into her house and turned the news on; at what she read, she felt her knees give out with a cry. She didn't hide her crying as her body was racked with sobs, but somehow she found it in herself to laugh at what the news confirmed for her.

Those who disappeared in the Snap were back.

Yet, as the news went on, she heard a line that stopped her heart. With disbelief, she watched as a picture of Tony Stark appeared on the screen with the announcement of his death, along with Natasha Romanov's. Proceeding this was an unconfirmed rumor that Captain America was gone as well, that Steve Rogers was no longer going to be the man donning the shield. This, however, was a rumor that Jane hoped was false, as it came from an unconfirmed source that claimed to be close to the close-knit Avengers team.

For the next thirty minutes, the fight with Thanos was then being covered with shaky photos and horrible, zoomed-in quality videos of those who were, for some reason, at the site of the battle.

With the fight playing in the background, Jane dialed a number, hoping – _praying_ – someone would pick up but instead, she was sent to voicemail with the promise of a callback. With a gulp, she looked at her phone and stared at the emergency number that Nat had given to her, her heart heavy. She wasn't close with the former assassin, but they still called each other friends and met up every few weeks, because after the Snap...life really did change. You couldn't have enough friends, not after what happened.

Jane allowed herself to silently cry and mourn for her friend, who had sacrificed herself to save the universe. But with this sadness came clarity for Jane; as much as she hated to admit it, with the bad news came good. If those who had disappeared returned after the two fallen Avengers' sacrifice, that meant that meant trillions of lives were saved, that Erik and Darcy were back.

…_Erik and Darcy_.

Jane nearly leaped with joy, until the realization of her new problem; her friends were both in England, where they were all last together five years ago. Although she had both of their numbers in her phone, she did not bother calling them. Both of the numbers had long since been canceled; they were saved more for memories sake than anything. What she needed now was a plan, and while doing so was not her forte, it would keep her mind busy from, well, _everything._

She called the U.S. Embassy in London and the British Consulate in New York, only to receive the same information from both places: all of those who returned from the Snap was forbidden to fly until further notice. Both places refused to go into further detail and hung up on her, leaving Jane frustrated and angry. Flying there was also not an option, apparently, as she was also informed by the agent in the U.S. Embassy that all flights leaving the United States were grounded and were only available for those with government orders until there was an all clear.

Jane knew it made sense, she wasn't stupid, she knew that governments around the world were struggling for control with the sudden chaos that another three billion lives brought. It didn't mean she had to be happy with the government's decision, though.

With a sigh, she looked at the time and then at Loki. With all the events that occurred in the past few hours alone, he had been the last thing on her mind. Luckily for her, the loud noises she had been making did nothing to him; he was still in bed, muttering to himself in his sleep. The bruises around his neck were only getting worse in color but she knew that with any bruises, they tended to look worse before getting better.

She just hoped that this was the case as well.

With her mind racing, Jane knew that she needed to calm herself down with a cup of coffee and breakfast, and so she officially began her day as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Made some coffee, pulled out the carton of eggs and because she was feeling sentimental, she began to make what she learned during her stay in London what was a _proper _English breakfast.

It seemed that the sound of the dishes clanking and timers going off woke Loki up; when she turned around, Loki was leaning heavily on the doorframe of her room, watching her with lidded eyes. Her lips thinned at this sight, but when she moved to walk over and help him, he held a hand up, stopping her in her tracks. At her hesitation, he shook his head. With a look of pain, he forced himself over to the few stools she had next to the island, his back facing the living room.

There was an awkward tension in the air, Jane was not oblivious to this. By nature, _she_ was awkward but paired with the fact that an Asgardian terrorist was in her room, it made it even more apparent that she did not know what she was doing.

She gulped. "How...how do you feel right now?" she asked, hoping to get a response. He stared at her for a few seconds before turning his head down and looking outside into the backyard. His silence was enough of an answer; she turned back to the bacon frying in the pan, nearly burning it. She had debated with herself the entire morning as what to do with Loki, and the first thing she knew was to tell him what happened to the universe since his death. Clearing her throat but kept her back facing the man, she started to speak. "Loki, I know this isn't the best time to tell you, but you've...you've been gone for–"

"Five years?" Her reaction was immediate; Jane whirled around, expecting to see him looking at her again. Instead, he kept his face looking outside into her yard, his eyes following animals that were occupying the forest once more.

"I…how did you know?"

He finally turned to her and his eyes met her own. The shine of life was nonexistent, the green muted and dark; this alone betraying how injured he was, physically and mentally. At this realization, her heart was heavy.

"I just do, Miss Foster." His voice was still hoarse and gravelly, almost too low to hear. He returned to his position of looking outside, signaling that this conversation was over, and as much as she wanted to continue, she also did not want to push him.

He had been injured enough.

Jane returned to making breakfast but with one look at the burnt egg, she decided against making another fried egg, throwing it out. She knew that scrambled eggs were easy to eat, and with Loki's throat, it was better to just make food that they both could eat at the same time.

As she prepared the frying pan for the scrambled eggs, she felt Loki's eyes boring into her back as the smell of the food wafted through the air. She did her best to ignore it and within minutes she was presenting the trickster with breakfast. She quickly grabbed a pack of yogurt from the fridge and a cup of water for him as well, which he took without complaint.

She debated for a second before pushing her own plate next to his. She hesitantly sat down next to him. She did not touch her food at first, watching Loki from the corner of her eyes eating painfully, a wince every time he tried to swallow anything. But satisfied that he was able to keep the food down, they both ate in silence, not a word said between them.

Once they finished and she began cleaning, Loki remained sitting on the stool, staring at nothing. With only the sound of the running sink, the tension between them both was beginning to get on her nerves. "Loki...do you want me to call Thor?" she asked, not bothering to look up. Like earlier, she expected silence to answer her, but she received something else entirely.

"Absolutely not." His voice was louder and while still painfully rough, she could hear hints of anger and worry. "There is no need...to bring my brother into this."

With the sponge still in her hand, she turned and asked, "Why not?" Water was dripping onto the floor and onto her sock, but she continued, "You're injured and I have absolutely no idea of Asgardian physiology, not only that they should be able to take care of you better than anything I can do. Your injuries exceed anything that I can heal, Loki."

"Miss Foster, _please_–"

Before she could respond, a knock at the door interrupted them, halting him mid-sentence. There was a sound of frustration from Jane's mouth but setting down the sponge, she went to answer it. Not bothering to check who it was, she threw the door open, expecting to see a delivery man at the wrong address – _something that happened more often than not_ – but instead, she found her neighbor staring back at her.

He was an attractive young man around her age who happened to live at the closest house to hers. Well, close might have been an understatement – if you called a few miles down the road _close_, then that was what he was. Jane was pretty much alone where she lived, with the nearest sign of communication miles away.

"Oh my god, John!" she stuttered, turning red. They had met several times for food and coffee, although she refused to think of them as dates, because why would _he_ ever be interested in her? She was embarrassed he'd caught her like this, though, with her day's old hair in a bun and wearing clothes that weren't smelling too ripe. "I wasn't expecting anyone–"

He laughed and somehow, Jane found herself smiling despite her current situation. "It's fine. I came over to ask if you heard the news."

"About the Disappeared? Yeah, it's all over the news. I have a few friends that I know should have come back but, well, they're in England at the moment." With a sad, but understanding smile, she muttered, "I can't get in contact with them until they do. They need to do some things with the embassy in England." At this, he raised an eyebrow and she said with a shrug, "I called them."

"Ah, that's too bad." There was a smile but when he looked into her home, she saw it freeze, a frown slipping through before he returned to his cheery self.

He saw Loki.

For a split second, this realization had her expecting him to run away, to call the police and bring the full force of whatever agency that handled this kind of thing because _Loki _was here. But instead, he turned to her quizzically, asking, "Uh, I didn't know you had company? Is that your, uh, boyfriend?"

The moment those words left his mouth, she couldn't even be embarrassed at his insinuation; instead, all she could feel was the steady return of her heartbeat, the relief she felt translating into a sigh. "N-No! He's just a...friend, who's visiting me!" she answered. With a nervous laugh, she looked back and saw Loki looking at them. She motioned with her hands, carefully hiding them from John's sight, to nod his head in agreement.

Luckily, he was being oddly compliant today, and simply did what she asked before turning away.

"I see." With a smile, her neighbor pulled out his car keys and began to walk away. "Well, I just wanted to see how you were doing and if you heard about everything that's been going on. I'll call you later, yeah? Maybe coffee this weekend?"

"Y-Yeah!" With what she felt was an awkward wave, she watched John pull out of the driveway, leaving her alone once again with the fallen Asgardian. The car was now out of sight, and with that, Jane slammed the door shut with a little too much force and slumped in relief against the door.

John hadn't recognized Loki.

When she looked back up, Loki was slowly standing from the seat, and so she rushed forward to make sure he didn't fall – something he ended up doing. Luckily, she had caught him in the nick of time, and the grunt of pain he made caused her to wince. He attempted to pull away, but with a firm grip and a glare that even made him freeze, he relented and allowed her to lead him to the couch. As her body was pressed against his, she could feel the heat radiating off of his body through the shirt she had given him, his arms slick with sweat.

Once he was settled, Jane went to the freezer and grabbed an ice pack. Without a word, she placed it against his neck before handing him a thermometer that she also had picked up. He looked at it with confusion, prompting her to tell him to place it under his tongue; minutes passed before the timer beeped but when she went to check the temperature, she swore.

103.5 Fahrenheit.

"We need to get you out of that shirt and into something warmer," she muttered, more to herself than anything. He simply grunted in response.

Jane went into her room and searched through the clothes she had gotten him yesterday, pulling out a thick hoodie but when she went to hand it to him, she found Loki asleep. She contemplated waking him up, knowing that he might want the added warmth, but instead, she decided to cover him with the thick blanket that she had used.

Despite his refusal earlier to call Thor, she was tempted to because she had no idea if human medication would work on Asgardians. That one time it worked on Thor, when she first met the god, was the result of Odin stripping his powers that made him human.

But for some reason, Loki _was_ adamant about not calling his brother for help.

A sound of frustration left Jane's lips as she came to an answer; she would respect his decision for now.

0O0

"_My children." Father stood between her and her brother, leading them further into the vault. "Do you know why we are here today?" She did not know the answer, much to her own dismay. Instead, they both remained silent, but despite their lack of an answer, Father did not scold them and instead, gave them both a rare smile. "Peace." She watched him look at the Casket of Winters that shined blue before him, and Jane's eyes couldn't help but turn towards the chamber that housed the Destroyer, a weapon that protected the precious artifacts that Father had accumulated over the thousands of years of his reign. _

"_Peace, Father?" her older brother asked, returning her back to their conversation. Father simply nodded his head, turning his back to the Casket of Winters. He brought his hands together, looking at them both. _

"_There will be a day, my children, when one of you shall be the keeper of this peace across the Nine Realms."_

"_Do…" she hesitantly looked at her brother and the weapon, before turning back to Father, "do the Frost Giants still live, Father?" They were, after all, once the Asgardians' greatest enemy._

_Yet, before he could answer, her older brother interrupted in his typical fashion. "When I am King," he splayed a hand against his chest, whirling to their father "I shall hunt the monsters down and slay them as you once did!" he declared, waving his arms around in a sword-like motion, as if enemies had surrounded them._

_She saw Father look at him with pride, something he did so rarely to her, but she pushed down the hurt and envy until it was no longer noticeable, even to her. Instead, she forced a smile and waited eagerly for his answer._

"_...A wise king _never_ seeks out war," he emphasized, looking at them both, his eye boring intensely into theirs, "but he must always be ready for it."_

_He let his words sink in before walking away; she looked at her brother before nodding, mutually agreeing to a silent plan. With an energy that belonged only to children, they ran to their father and each grabbed a hand, declaring their maturity and readiness to be King._

"_While there can only be one true king," Father said, squeezing her hand, "You were both _born_ to be kings."_

_She never felt more proud._

0O0

Jane slowly opened her eyes, the events of her dream fading away until all she could remember were sharp green eyes. However, this too was soon forgotten as she could notice firsthand just how cold she was; it was as if ice had managed to steep into her bones, freezing her from the inside out. As her teeth were chattering, the only conclusion she could think in the midst of her sleep convoluted mind was that the backyard door was left open. Yet, as the grogginess of sleep disappeared, she noticed that it was a little _too_ cold for April weather, even with an opened door.

Lifting her head up, she winced as a sharp pain ran through her neck from the uncomfortable position she had fallen asleep in. The last thing she remembered was watching Loki, trying to ensure that he was not dying on her quite yet, when her body was racked with a sudden yawn that had somehow ended up in an afternoon nap.

As Jane finally blinked the last of the sleep away, she noticed the fog of her breath in the air, which was something that, while wasn't too uncommon outside in Upstate New York at the time, was unheard of indoors. At this realization, she fully lifted herself up from the chair and promptly looked at Loki, only to notice a thin sheet of frost spread all around him in a circle. She knew at that exact moment that he was the cause of the freezing temperature, and for reasons she had no clue of.

Jane nearly fell in her rush to the Asgardian, her only plan to wake him up. She noticed him slightly murmuring in a foreign tongue, but as she began to shake him harder in her attempt to wake him up, he only began to speak louder in a language she had no understanding of. Ignoring the faint shards of pain from the cold in her hands, she tried _everything_, from yelling and pulling on him, but nothing seemed to be working.

As a last resort, she slapped him.

The moment her hand cracked against his skin – _what a déjà vu moment _– Loki shot up from the couch, shallow and raspy breaths soon following him. She quickly fell backward, her back hitting the edge of the couch, when she noticed immediately that the cold in the air slowly fading away until her living room returned to a normal temperature. The frost that had developed on the couch disappeared as well, and Loki looked to be wet from either sweat or the melted frost – both of which she could not tell.

"Loki," she could not help but stare, a flare of fear pushing her to ask, "what the hell was that?"

The trickster continued to look around in confusion and fear, as if he did not know where he was, until he finally looked at her. She was a final puzzle piece, it seemed, as something seemed to click in his eyes as he gulped. "I…" Loki opened his mouth and closed it, shaking his head as if it would clear his mind. The slight fear in his face disappeared until a mask that she was getting used to seeing slid in its place. "My apologies, Miss Foster." He flexed his fingers in his lap, taking deep, even breaths. "I...had a nightmare, and it seemed...that I had no control over my powers."

"I don't think–" Jane tried to argue but Loki suddenly began coughing, his cough sounding harsher than before. She was hesitant to touch him again, as the cold he radiated earlier was painful, but began to rub his back in an attempt to help anyway. As she did, she couldn't shake the uncertainty of her current situation.

Was...was taking care of him on her own truly the best decision?

* * *

**03 – End**

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**A/N:**_ Sorry for the late chapter! I had finals and then I had to move out of my dorm, but I also have to fly home and because of time zones and jetlag, I didn't have any time to actually work on the chapter. I hope you can forgive me! Also please please PLEASE forgive any mistakes you might find - I tried to find all of them but you know there's gonna be a few that slip through. __The chapter itself is kinda slow, I KNOW, but I promise that it'll pick up by the next chapter! I'm still planning some things out with this story, and it's just...slightly hard, I guess, to work with canon too. _

_Also, the thing about Jane not being able to fly – the US actually does have an emergency preparedness plan that allows for control over air traffic control in times of, well, emergencies. It's called SCATANA. I just wanted you guys to know that I wasn't pulling anything from my ass lmao._

_Anyways, please don't hesitate to follow and fav the story. I'll be responding to reviews that I'm able to as soon as possible!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary**:_ Five years were long alone and Jane was tired. The Snap took everything, leaving her with nothing but her thoughts and research that had no use to anyone but herself. But one day, Loki suddenly appears in her home, and against her better judgement, she makes the unexpected decision to nurse the Trickster back to health._

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**Disclaimer**: I don't own Thor/Marvel because if I did I wouldn't have treated my boys so dirty like the Russo Brothers did.

* * *

**Melancholia**, n. Greek  
_A state of deep wistfulness, misery, and withdrawal._

* * *

_**Melancholia  
**_ 04

Jane pulled away from the telescope, turning her gaze towards the night sky. Stars shone brightly above her, the full moon looking down as sounds of life surrounded her. She missed the tranquility of life, she thought to herself, as the quiet chirping of grasshoppers lulled her into calmness. Sometime throughout the night, she had abandoned her research on the table, her computer screen now black.

At this moment, she found peace.

With a pang of nostalgia, Jane sadly looked at the sheets spread all over the table. She no longer studied the discoveries she had made that revolutionized in the world with her Foster Theory. The universe still had so many secrets that she had hoped to discover before her time had ended, so much unknown hidden behind numbers and the science that she loved to decipher. But with the Snap and all, the funding that she once had was gone, shifted towards rebuilding societies all across the world, and it would have been only a matter of time before her own personal funds dried out, unable to continue her research.

And so, seeing the future, she had made the executive decision to go on hiatus until further notice.

Although she _had _been receiving emails lately that stated that a surplus in funding that the government was willing to put aside for research in all fields of science, it didn't take a genius to know that with the sudden return of so many lives, that money was again out of her reach.

Once, she would have been upset. But now, she nodded her head and moved on.

She was at peace looking at the universe with her small telescope. Stargazing alone gave her great comfort and joy, as it was her home. Looking up at the sparkling lights, knowing that there was life and that she was not crazy, that she hadn't wasted years and years of time and money on something everyone had once thought stupid.

She had left her mark on the world, an impact that future generations would feel.

A sudden yawn escaped Jane, signaling that the night was over for her. Quickly shutting down her computer, she absentmindedly picked up the notes to her research. As quietly as she could, she opened the door to Loki's quiet breathing from the couch, sounding much more even and regular than his first night here two weeks ago.

_...Two weeks._

Two weeks since he returned, since _everyone_ returned, and the world was thrown back into chaos. Jane couldn't help but sigh as she placed everything back on her desk, her eyelids heavy with exhaustion.

Loki was doing better, but still healing quite slowly for someone who should have been healing at a faster rate than a human. This was not speculation on her part either; she had seen Thor with injuries while they had dated, and his wounds would be healed in days, although it had depended on the severity of said injuries.

But even so, his brother was simply taking too long to heal for Jane to be comfortable. Yet, she was also able to admit that what mattered most was the simple fact that he was healing, and so, for now, she pushed her worries to the back of her mind and went to bed.

0O0

"_How did the guard even know?"_

_She looked at her hand, frowning at it, before turning to Fandral. "...It was me."_

_The reaction from her brother's friends was immediate, the sounds of disbelief and outrage ringing throughout the room. "What do you mean?!"_

"_You heard me," she fully turned to the Warriors Three and Lady Sif, "I told Heimdall to go to my father once we had left for Jotunheim–"_

_Volstagg tried to move from his seat but flinched from pain, the shoulder injury he sustained during the fight against the Frost Giants preventing him from standing to his full height. "You told him?!"_

_But with a calmness she forced herself to have, Jane bluntly stated the facts that even they could not deny. "I saved our lives." She continued to fidget with her hands, the memory of the fight and what had occurred with the Frost Giants bothering her to no extent. Yet, it didn't prevent the lies that slid off her tongue easily. "Of course, I had no idea that Father would banish him for what had happened."_

_Despite the heavy tension in the air, no one could deny that what she had said was true; she _had_ saved their lives by telling her father. _

_Sif quickly got out of her seat, her hands clasped before her as she faced Jane. "Then you must speak with the AllFather to return your brother to us. He will see reason–"_

_Jane scoffed at the absurdity. "And what? I love Thor more than any of you could possibly know, but you know what he is." The warrior opened her mouth as if to defend her friend, but Jane allowed her anger towards Thor to slip out, the words coming out of her mouth as sharp as the daggers she wielded. "He's arrogant, reckless, dangerous; you saw how he was today in our fight. Is that what Asgard truly needs from its king? You all know he is not ready, and never was."_

_With the last word, she walked out, her steps heavier and heavier the further down the hall she went. _

_Despite being the one to orchestrate the plan, the guilt weighed heavily on her. Her lies would save them, though; it would save them _all_. Although she tried to believe that jealousy had no role in her actions towards her brother, a part of her knew, and was gleeful that the only obstacle between her and the crown was now banished to Midgard._

_But, as much as she was happy that her brother was no longer on Asgard, the truth behind her actions would always be for her alone to know. All she yearned for, despite the lure of the crown, was not to be king but to be seen as her brother's equal. If that meant to be King for as long as she needed to be, then she would fulfill that role._

_Perhaps then, Father would acknowledge her._

_All she needed was for everyone to see that her brother lacked the preparation for the role of a leader, of a _King_, and that him sitting on the throne of the Nine Realms would destroy them all_.

0O0

Jane awoke with a start, her heart beating in her chest.

The dream.

It...it seemed wrong?

But the more she thought about it, the more it slipped through her fingers until only a fragment of the dream lingered. Not enough to recognize _why_ it felt wrong and out of place, but enough to know that the oddness of it bothered her.

Much to Jane's frustration at the inability to recall her dream, she groaned into the pillow, refusing to move in this uncomfortable position. The only reason she lifted her head up to look out of the window above her was because of how strange she felt.

Something was...off.

Her dream earlier did nothing to help the premonition she felt in the pit of her stomach that was telling her something was not right. Her mind felt out of place as if her body and mental state were not connected. It was impossible, but she swore that her body was reacting slower, almost like she was trudging through mud. The oiliness that tingled up her spine continued to grow, and the sick feeling she had woken up to lingered still, telling her that the nausea she felt stemmed not from her sleep but from a separate cause.

But once these strange thoughts ended, her mind did what it did best and went straight to the hard facts. If something were truly amiss in her home, Loki would have woken up. It was a quaint house to begin with, almost a hundred years old, although remodeled, and the squeaking of the floor could be heard throughout the rooms. Furthermore, with his injuries, he wasn't quiet in his movements, the grace she had witnessed firsthand on Asgard nowhere to be seen. Along with this was his inability to cast magic, much to _both_ of their annoyances, as she was getting the brunt of his irritation at the lack of his magic.

There was only so much two people could deal with a home this small, with nowhere to go, before something blew up.

Figuratively, not literally.

So, finding comfort in the fact that her mind was probably psyching herself out and she just was catching a cold, Jane picked her phone up. Like usual, she saw no messages, no notifications – nothing. She was a lonely girl, with friends she could count on with one hand. But...not for much longer, hopefully. All she needed to know was whether or not Erik and Darcy were okay, that they were alive and well.

Was that so much to ask for?

To answer that question, _it was_.

Much to her frustration, all of her government contacts refused to tell her _anything_, and so against her will, she was left in the dark, relying only on what the news was broadcasting.

At the growl of her stomach and dryness of her throat, Jane sighed and began getting ready for the morning.

Within minutes, she was in the kitchen, preparing coffee with Loki's soft snores in the background. Sometime in the past few days, Loki had made some sort of executive decision to sleep on the couch, returning Jane her bed. She had protested at first, but even she was able to see that there was no point in arguing him about it. She lacked the energy to fight Loki on the topic, and so she simply took her room back.

Leaning against the counter as she awaited her favorite bitter drink, Jane took a sip of water from her mug. Yet, with a sudden muffled yelp, she threw her head into the sink and spat it out, the intense bitterness lingering on her tongue.

"What the fuck?" she couldn't help but ask herself, staring at the cup of water in her hands. There was no strange odor, no oddity floating in it either; it was clear and looked just like...water. She didn't hesitate to pour it out, and after a split second, she decided to refill her mug from the tap. She stared at the water with unease, before taking another small sip. At the sharp bitterness she tasted once again, she quickly repeated the process of spitting the water out.

_Damn it._

"Everything all right there, Jane?" a voice asked from behind her.

"I'm _fine_. The water's just a bit weird, that's all."

"Weird?" He cocked an eyebrow, leaning forward onto the island where he sat. "How can water be _weird_?"

Jane scoffed at his question, quickly turning her head around to glare at Loki. "I know you're messing with me, but I don't have the patience to deal with this today." _Or with him_, she silently said to herself. There was a hint of a smirk on his face that she was _really_ tempted to try and wipe off with a snarky remark, but she held herself back.

"If you say so."

Without a word, she turned back to the coffee she was making. If the water was off, then the coffee wouldn't be drinkable as well. She was frustrated, annoyed, without her coffee, and for some odd reason, something was _really_ off, and as she watched the coffee go down the drain, she began to feel lightheaded, the tingling sensation in her spine growing in intensity.

Mentally cursing to herself, she knew exactly what was happening.

Pain quickly proceeded this realization, and Jane tried her best to seem as if nothing was out of sorts as she tried to place the pot back, but with a sudden burst of pain, a cry left her mouth and the glass pot slipped from her grasp. It shattered and Jane nearly collapsed onto the ground with it, but she grabbed the counter instead, praying that she would be able to hold herself up long enough for the pain to pass.

"...Jane?"

She heard footsteps and then felt Loki behind her, but the moment he placed his palm on her arm she screamed–

She screamed and screamed and _screamed– _

_The pain_–

_Oh God, the pain– _

The room burst with red, so bright that Loki had to shield his eyes, her screaming echoing throughout the house. He was able to look back only when the light subsided, but what he saw–

Jane's eyes were fully black, her body surrounded by a dark red aura that darkened the room. She was floating a few feet in the air before him, painful moans leaving her mouth as her hair swam in the air behind her as well.

Loki took a shaky step back in shock.

...There was no doubt that it was the Aether.

But how? The last he had heard, the stones were no more. She had told him that–

Jane suddenly froze and he only had a second to spare before the chaos surrounding her vanished, along with the strange floating ability that had possessed her. He automatically caught her, but his still injured body failed him and her weight caused him to fall to the ground as well. His body cushioned their impact, though, much to his chagrin. There was no movement from Jane; her eyes were closed and her breathing heavy and even, a stark difference from a minute ago.

"Jane?" Loki gently placed her onto the ground, ignoring the sore pain in his body at the movement. He placed a hand on her shoulder shake her awake, but seeing the lack of response, he frowned. With no other option, he picked her up and carried her to the couch. Once he ensured that she was simply unconscious and that the glass had not hurt her, his mind began to race with what had happened.

He had witnessed everything from the beginning, with her suddenly tensing up and trying to hide her pain. From that moment, he knew something was amiss, but to know that she was holding the Aether once more–

At the thought of the power of the Infinity Stone, Loki felt himself go cold. His mind went back to that day he grabbed the Tesseract in Odin's Treasure Room during Surtur's attack, the glow of blue shining in his face as he pocketed it – the look of betrayal on his Thor's face when his brother realized what he had done. At that moment, he had failed his brother, _his people_; it was _his fault–_

Before he fell further into the guilt he kept hidden under the recesses of his mind, he grounded himself by looking at his current situation. For now, talk of the Infinity Stones and the Aether would be pushed aside. Turning towards the kitchen, Loki's eyes went to the glass shards all over the tile floor and the water still running in the sink.

Ah, _that's_ where it began. Jane had said something about the water being strange, hadn't she? Perhaps it started with that?

With quick strides, he avoided the glass on the floor and filled the cup in the sink with the water before quickly drinking it. At the sudden burst of bitterness, Loki flinched but felt no different. He didn't turn bright red nor did he feel a sudden burst of pain.

A heavy sigh left his mouth as he turned his attention to the sharp glass below him. For now, there was nothing more he could do. Once his magic returned he would be able to aid Jane in figuring out what was wrong with her, and how the Aether came to be within her once again, but for now, with his still injured body, the least he could do for her was to clean up the mess she made.

0O0

_Everything hurt._

_But what was in pain, most of all? _

_Her soul._

_Jane had done it for Asgard, for Mother, for _him_ – her father – only to be betrayed by the man she had hoped most for respect in the end. He completely disregarded the truths she gave him, acting as if she'd be welcomed back with open arms._

_She wasn't even _Asgardian_._

_She had always felt like an outsider, but with the acknowledgment of what she truly was, how could she walk the halls of the Palace without feeling betrayal? Her very existence was a torment to the people she had once called her own, so the possibility of feeling comfortable in her own home was taken from her as well._

_Looking at her brother's eyes, seeing the anger but underneath, the love he still had for her, added to the flames of anger and rage that burned hotly in Jane's chest. How could he look at her like this, after treating her the way he did for hundreds of years? __He had no right - how _dare_ he. Yet, he continued to cry out for her__, his pleads to continue hanging on ringing in her ears, but with one look at the AllFather's eye, she knew that it was time. _

_She let go._

_Closing her eyes, she fell into the cold embrace of the cosmos._

0O0

Jane shot up from her position on the couch, her eyes wide with terror and confusion, Loki sitting on the chair adjacent to her with a book in hand.

"What happened?" was the first question to leave her mouth, not remembering anything past the pain. "What happened when I blacked out?"

Loki, despite the lack of his magic, felt the lie slip off his tongue flawlessly. "You dropped your pot, shattering it across the floor. Luckily for you, I had caught you before you fell and injured yourself." Closing the novel in his hand, he leaned forward, his eyes boring into her. "You've been asleep for about twenty-four hours, but I am truly glad to see that you are doing fine." She opened her mouth to speak but he held a hand up, silencing her. "But I believe that the roles we are playing should be reversed – that I should be the one to ask the questions instead. What was it that I witnessed, Jane? Better yet, do you even _know_ what it is that happened to you?"

There was a look of nervousness that Jane did well to hide at his question, but Loki, being who he was, was able to quickly discern the anxiety that she was feeling. She opened her mouth but quickly closed it, looking away from his eyes. "I…" With a deep breath seconds later, she shuffled around until she faced Loki.

She took a minute to decide whether she should tell him, but something about keeping the pain to herself had her wanting to just...let it all go. She had kept it from people for the past five years, and she was _way_ past her limit. She was tired, she was scared, and she just wanted to tell someone. even if they didn't have the answer she was looking for.

"I get these weird bouts of pain. I don't know how and why, but...they started when the stones were destroyed." She sniffed before quickly dragged a hand across her eyes. "...It doesn't take a genius to connect the dots," she whispered towards the end.

There was a heavy silence between them, until Loki said, "The stones, you had said that they were destroyed, but what do you mean by that? As far as I was concerned, the Infinity Stones were told to be indestructible. They are the sole reason why life exists in the cosmos; it's impossible to destroy them without somehow dooming the entirety of the Universe."

She waved her hand with a shrug. "That was what I was told by the Avengers, that Thanos destroyed them."

The name left her mouth before she could stop herself, realizing immediately the impact of what would happen if she said it – Jane saw the change in Loki happen before her very eyes. While he always hid what he truly thought behind a well-created mask that prevented her from truly trusting the god, there was still life in it, a sense of mischief, she would say, that lurked behind his green eyes. But at the mere mention of the Titan, his face turned emotionless, no hint of _anything_, his eyes more dead than alive. His voice was tight and she could tell he was forcing himself to act as if it didn't bother him when truly, it did.

That, also, did not take a genius to figure out.

"...Loki," she began, a frown on her lips, "I know–"

He interrupted her by nonchalantly pointing behind her, his eyes dark and voice restrained. "There's a creature in your yard."

"...A _what_?" Despite knowing that he was forcibly changing the subject, she whipped her head around anyway, only for a gasp to leave her mouth. _He was right_, a dog stood in her backyard.

It was just...sitting there.

Tongue out.

Jane turned back around, staring at Loki. He was looking at her once again, but she knew that the moment to talk about what happened had passed, and the problem at hand now was the fact that there was a large dog just...sitting in her backyard, with no owner in sight.

A sound of frustration left her mouth before she stood up, ignoring the soreness in her legs. "This conversation isn't over, Loki," she said, her voice quiet but clear enough for the god to hear. He simply responded with a shrug before standing up alongside her, watching the dog.

"Of course it's not."

With a nod, Jane went to the glass sliding door that led to the back of her home. As she unlocked it, she heard the excited yelp from the animal as it wagged its tail at every one of her movements, no matter how slight.

There was just _one _problem.

She...she was not a dog person.

Hell, she just wasn't an animal person in general. They disliked her as much as she disliked them. Up until now, the feelings were always mutual and she was happy with that.

To say she wasn't scared of a large dog was an understatement, but what else was she supposed to do? Leave it outside when the weather called for rain later tonight? She may not like the animal but she wasn't a cruel person.

With a hesitant step, Jane went forward, surprised to find that Loki was following behind her.

Despite an echo of pain, she ignored it and took another step forward, slight hesitation following her moves. It was a big dog, a malamute, she'd guess, judging by its size and its similarities to a husky. "Hi there, you big boy," she said, her voice rising an octave. Even _she_ wasn't immune to the baby speak that everyone did in the presence of a dog, it seemed. "What's your name?"

She was only about a foot away.

She could do this.

But Jane cried out when the dog, with a sudden bark, ran–_past her._

Whirling around, she could only watch in slow motion as it jumped onto..._Loki_. The man was caught off guard at the tackle and in a picture worthy moment – _God, she wished she had her phone on her _– he fell to the ground as the dog began its assault. It wouldn't stop licking his face, its tail wagging uncontrollably.

"Get off me, you infernal _beast!_"

Jane was failing miserably in stifling her laughs and the glare that Loki had managed to slip to her was the last straw. She burst out laughing, her voice ringing throughout the open yard as she nearly tripped over her own feet. By the time she put herself together and grabbed the collar that hung off of the dog to pull it off of Loki, her stomach was in pain as tears streamed down her face.

It was just _too _funny, and Jane hadn't laughed like that in so long.

"Okay there big boy, calm down." Her smile wouldn't leave her face as she got the boy to sit down, his tail still wagging. "What's your name?" She was still slightly afraid, but after that amazing show between him and Loki, most of her fear had disappeared. Gently, she pet his face before looking at the name tag on the collar, only to frown. "Huh, Fenrir." The dog's ears perked at his name, which Jane watched with a smile. "That's weird, it says you live here."

"Fenrir?" Loki pulled himself off the ground, dusting his clothes off from the dog's attack on him. "That's the creature's name?"

"Well, his previous owners must have been big Norse fans," she teased. "...We need to figure out what to do with him now, though."

"We?"

Raising an eyebrow, Jane stood up and turned around. "Well, you're living here at the moment, aren't you?"

"I–" Loki's shocked expression quickly returned to his typical apathetic look, although it surprised Jane nonetheless. "Fine."

She jumped at the sudden wet nose that touched her palm, whirling around to Fenrir. "Oh my god, that scared me," she whispered quickly, not seeing the nearly nonexistent smile that appeared on Loki's face.

"What are you going to do, then, with Fenrir?"

"I…" Jane looked at Loki, then the dog, then back to Loki. "I guess we're taking him to the vet?"

She quickly led the dog into the car, with no help from Loki, and as a result, she decided to make the man come with her, one reason for spite. Besides, after seeing that John hadn't recognized Loki, she felt as if it was safe enough for him to go with her into the town. Besides, in a basic outfit of a hoodie – _with a turtleneck underneath to hide his neck_ – and black jeans, he blended in well enough.

Emphasis on, _well enough_.

He still managed to give off an aura that somehow drew people to him, and with his accent that was identical to the British, she knew he'd draw attention. He was bound to, especially in a small town where the international community was slim to nonexistent.

But she also believed that staying cooped up in her house was not a good idea, as even she could see he was starting to become tired of her tiny home.

"You're coming with me, I hope you know that," she said – _more like demanded_ – as she shoved the black jeans into his hands. "You need to get out of the house."

Loki stared at the jeans in his hands before turning to her, narrowing his eyes. "What are you playing at?" He did not trust her, not at this very moment.

"Nothing." She smiled. "We're leaving in five."

The drive to the vet was fairly a short one, yet with Loki _and_ Fenrir, it felt much longer than what it needed to be. She nearly drove them into a tree when Fenrir tried jumping into the front of the car and had wanted to slap Loki for his offhanded comments of her driving. What the hell did he know about driving a vehicle? She didn't need to hear his snarky remarks, _not right now_.

Jane could have cried with joy when they finally reached the parking lot _alive_. Quickly parking her car and jumping out, she walked into the vet a few seconds later, an intense grip on Fenrir's collar. She tried to seem oblivious to the stares and whispers of the women working at the reception when they noticed Loki but was failing, and she could feel the irritation beginning to build up.

From what, though, she wasn't quite sure.

Luckily, her wait wasn't long, as, in a matter of minutes, a woman in a scrubs called out, "Ms. Foster?"

"That'll be me!" Jane struggled to keep Fenrir controlled in the small room, and she shot a frustrated scowl at her third companion. "Are you just going to stand there and watch me struggle? You could be helping me!" Loki had his typical smirk on his face, a shrug clearly his answer to her question. She growled in frustration before leading Fenrir inside the other room – _more like he led her – _with Loki behind her.

"So, what seems to be the problem with your dog here today?"

"Um, well–" She yelped when the dog suddenly shot forward, ripping himself out of her grasp to jump onto the doctor. She ran to stop him but froze when she watched the vet's eyes widened, breaking out in a smile. The doctor knelt to the ground and allowed the dog to greet her, small quiet sounds of giggling breaking through the dog's happy cries.

"Oh my god, Fenrir!"

Jane watched, dumbfounded, as Fenrir then rolled onto its back while whining, his tail moving at a million miles per hour. "You, uh, know him?" she couldn't help but ask.

"Yeah – I mean, _yes_, of course." Caroline, the doctor, said, standing up. She was trying to return to the professionalism she had presented earlier, despite Fenrir nudging at her with his nose. "He was Mr. Campbell's previous dog before he went missing during the uh, snap."

"...Oh," Jane breathed out, her eyes going back to the malamute. She knew the name, _Mr. Campbell_, because he was the former house owner of where she lived now. "That's why he was in our yard. But–"

"Mr. Campbell was on a walk with him when he disappeared," she answered her unspoken question. "That might be why it took Fenrir a while to get back to the house; you're living in his home now, as I can see in the information you've given us."

With a sad smile, she nodded her head. "After he passed, I moved in."

"Just in case…" Caroline, once she got herself together, turned to the counter and brought out a scanner, moving it behind Fenrir's neck. In a quick second, it beeped and she hummed in response. "Yup, this is Fenrir, alright."

Jane looked at Loki, who watched with disinterest, before turning her attention back to the woman. He was clearly going to be of no use. "Um, well, this sounds kinda bad but, what now?"

Surprise lit up in Caroline's eyes at the question. "You don't plan on taking him in?"

"Uh, not really?"

A frown quickly appeared on her face. "Well...as much as I'd love to have Fenrir, I don't have the time to give the poor boy – none of us here do. We'll take him from you if you want, but the only thing we'd be able to do is to bring him to the shelter."

"...The shelter."

"They'll keep him for a week before either transferring him to another shelter or...euthanizing him."

She felt her body go cold at the mention of euthanization. She looked at Fenrir, who was hopelessly wagging his tail, his blue eyes bright and his tongue hanging out of his mouth. A quiet, _woof_, left his mouth when their eyes met, his tail wagging increasing tenfold.

Jane made a decision.

"And if that's the plan of action, I'm going to require some signatures from you–"

"I'll keep him," Jane interrupted, her voice firm and mind made up.

She may have been terrified of dogs, but looking at Fenrir at this moment? This dog was nothing but a sweetheart, no evil bone in its body. He was pure kindness and Jane knew that if she took in Fenrir, maybe her life wouldn't be so bad. Sure, she sucked at taking care of herself, but with a dog like him?

...Maybe she'd heal from her own pain too.

"Are you sure, Jane?" Turning around at the sudden question, Loki was looking at her, his eyes, _like always_, betraying nothing of what he was thinking at that moment.

"Yeah, I am." Turning to Caroline, she smiled. "Where do I sign?"

Half an hour later, Jane sat in her car, Fenrir in the backseat while Loki sat beside her. She had her phone out, a list of what she would need to buy at the local pet store on her screen. Because she had _nothing_ in her home to take care of a dog, she'd have to get _everything_, from a leash to a bed.

Damn, Jane could feel her wallet crying at how much she was going to have to spend today.

"Stop sticking your nose_ in my neck_," Loki growled out, whipping his head to turn to the dog. Jane could tell that he hoped to intimidate the dog into submission, but the dog was kind of...stupid? Well, it seemed more like he didn't really care.

Jane wasn't too sure.

Quickly realizing that Fenrir wouldn't listen to him, Loki instead wiped his neck, sneering at the drool he was trying to clean off. Jane looked up once, resisting the urge to laugh at what she saw. Loki was continuing to shoot daggers at the dog with his eyes, but Fenrir seemed to _really_ like the god and instead was doing exactly what Loki told him not to do.

If someone had told Jane five years ago that she'd be sitting in her car with the God of Mischief next to her in regular _human_ clothes and a large Malamute in her backseat, she would have called that person psychotic and tased them, thanks to Darcy's insistence of carrying one of those weapons around. Yet, seeing Loki interacting with Fenrir warmed her heart because deep down, these past few weeks had been rough for them both. Being with him chipped away at the walls she had built, as she saw just how badly he was hurting. She recognized the pain he was hiding because it was as if she had been looking in a mirror after the incident with Aether; the eye bags that had appeared under her eyes, the terrifying dreams that woke her up in the middle of the night with her heart racing because she thought she was going to die – all the terrible feelings and emotions she had gone through, Loki was going through the exact thing, even worse.

For her, it was a stark reminder that she was small and for some reason, the Aether hadn't killed her.

There was a coincidence to the emergence of her restless sleeping and nightmares once again with Loki's appearance in her life. She knew that there was a relation between one another, she wasn't dumb.

_But with Fenrir now_, she couldn't help but think, _maybe he'll help Loki heal. Maybe even help both of us._

But at this thought, Jane had a feeling akin to whiplash as she forced herself forward, her eyes hardening at the disloyal thoughts in her mind.

What was she _thinking?_ Loki was _not her friend._ Although she was helping him by allowing him to heal and get better at her place, that didn't warrant her to become friendly with the man.

She repeated this in her mind as she started up the car, but despite denying it, she recognized that if Loki continued to stay with her, there would be no going back to the way she thought before.

0O0

Jane had been unloading the car after her shopping trip for Fenrir when she heard another car in her driveway. Quickly setting down the dog food, she waved at the newcomer, who was coming her way up the long driveway.

"John!" she greeted, a smile on her face. "What's the occasion?"

Her neighbor grinned in response, lifting his phone up. "You'd know if you checked your phone."

She sheepishly grinned, rubbing her arm as she said, "You should know by now that I'm no good with technology. I barely use my phone as it is."

"So I see." He took a quick look at the dog food by her feet, the question clear on his face.

"Oh, well, long story short, I got a dog." Jane picked up the dog food, and at the rustling of the bag, said dog ran out from the door on her porch.

Yet, Fenrir did something so unexpected, she dropped the bag. Thankfully, it didn't burst open on the road, but she could have cared less at that moment.

Fenrir suddenly did a one-eighty in his mood, his tail suddenly raised and unmoving, his hackles raised. His body was low, yet as he moved back and forth restlessly, several feet away from Jane, his lips snarled as he began growling and snapping at them.

But she noticed quickly that all of the dog's aggression was directed towards the man in front of her, and not at her at all.

"Jane, what–"

Loki stopped at the door, his words caught in his mouth at John, but once he saw Fenrir acting the way he was, he didn't hesitate in grabbing the dog's collar and pulling him away back into the house. Thankful at his interruption, she didn't notice Loki's eyes lingering on John with a suspicious glint in his own eyes.

"Sorry about that, I don't really know what happened. He was so friendly with everyone else today." She hefted the dog food up once more, turning back to John. "Anyways, what's up?"

John had an unreadable emotion in his eyes before he laughed uncomfortably. "I was going to ask if you wanted to get some dinner, but I see you're busy. Um, another time?"

"Yeah, sure." She watched him back away, a weird sensation in her spine. "Bye?"

Once John left, Jane ignored this uncomfortable and awkward encounter and went into the house. Once she walked in, Fenrir tried jumping on her, a completely different dog _again_. There was no sign of aggression or anger like he had displayed earlier.

She was still fearful of him, as he was a large dog, and after seeing the way he had just interacted with John made her question whether or not it was a good idea, after all, to adopt him.

"That was weird."

"...Was that your neighbor? The one that came by a few weeks ago?" Loki asked, sitting at the counter and ignoring her comment.

"Yeah, John." Jane began sorting the items she bought today as she continued talking. "That was strange though; Fenrir was fine earlier with everybody else that petted him."

"Something's off about that man," he bluntly stated, looking at their new housemate before turning his green eyes to her. "I recognized him."

At that statement, she couldn't help but scoff. _As if_, she thought but didn't voice aloud. Instead, she said, "I highly doubt you'd recognize him. He's from New Jersey – grew up there his whole life before moving here."

"But a life can be fabricated quite easily, Jane. I'm telling you, something is _not right _with him."

This time, she couldn't help but look at Loki and see just how serious he was being and began to feel annoyed. "I've known him for about three years, I think I'm a good judge of character at this point. He _isn't_ bad. It's not your place to say otherwise because you _just_ met him," she defended, her voice hard.

"Jane, You continue to refuse–"

"Because you don't know him!"

"_Yes,_" Loki growled, "I don't, but I have more experience with distinguishing enemies and allies–"

"This conversation about him is _over,_" she snapped, a sudden wave of intense anger rushing through her.

She did not realize that her eyes had just flashed red, a dark tendril lighting up beneath her skin. Loki, on the other hand, did, and immediately closed his mouth at this sight. The Aether had appeared again, but unlike earlier, Jane seemed unaffected by its emergence. Instead, it seemed to be responding to her emotions.

It was rare for him to drop a conversation as he did now, but he prided himself on how observant he was to fine details that most wouldn't notice, and he recognized quickly that pursuing this path with no further evidence against this..._John_ would only be futile, ending badly for them all.

Jane, satisfied with his answer – or lack thereof – went back to unpacking and placing everything for Fenrir away, signaling to the Asgardian that they were done speaking. Whatever camaraderie that had begun developing between them had become undone, and she interacted with the god with cold indifference, similar to how she had been during his first few days here.

He saw this and walked away.

By the time Jane had finished, hours had passed and the sky was dark, and Loki was taking a shower while Fenrir drifted to sleep on his new bed. At the sight of the dog rolling onto his stomach, the astrophysicist couldn't help but quietly laugh, her mood lightening from the earlier conversation.

She turned her attention to the backyard and felt her mood lighten even more. The sky, unlike what the weather had forecasted, was clear, rain clouds nowhere in sight. She threw on a sweater and walked outside, leaving the door open for the cool, spring wind to flush out any negativity in her home.

Jane sat down on the steps that led to the grass, the aged wood creaking under her weight. She leaned slightly forward, her weight resting on her legs as she turned her gaze towards the stars. A heavy sigh left her lips, her heart growing heavy. She had checked her phone earlier and there was still no word from Erik and Darcy, and the news continued to play tragedies that were the outcome of the chaos with the return of so many people.

And for some reason, the argument with Loki continued to play through her mind.

Closing her eyes, she held back the tears she could feel building up, refusing to let them out.

She didn't cry often, but in the span of a few weeks, she had to hold back the tears that threatened to overcome her.

She had acted childishly, she knew that, but something about Loki criticizing John felt wrong. Her neighbor had been nothing but kind to her from the moment she met him, although she could admit now that it _was_ strange at how friendly he was with her from the beginning. But other than that? She truly felt that Loki's distrust was misplaced in John.

...Although, Fenrir's actions today did make her question if her heart was truly in the right place. Didn't they say that dogs had a sixth sense about these kinds of things?

She felt a hand on her shoulder, interrupting her thoughts. She opened her eyes and watched, dumbfounded, as Loki sat down beside her. Jane quickly looked away, though, when he turned his attention to her. The air was tense and awkward, but the quiet pitter-patter of Fenrir's paws behind them was all it took to break the silence between them.

"I'm sorry about earlier," she mumbled, looking down at her shoes. There was a heavy weight leaning against her back, and the fur that tickled her neck made a corner of her mouth to turn up. "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"Are you apologizing to me?" Loki remarked, an eyebrow raised. "And here I was, being forced to believe that _I_ was in the wrong."

"Oh, just take the apology, will you?" she retorted, trying to seem as if she was annoyed, but they both knew she wasn't.

With a smile, Jane turned her gaze back to the night sky. She couldn't help but feel...content in this very moment, and at the sound of Fenrir's assault on Loki, and the blatant annoyance that he held for the _creature_ beside them, there was only one thought on her mind.

She didn't feel quite alone tonight.

* * *

**04 – End**

* * *

**A/N:**_ Oof, this was a hefty chapter, a real big boi, should I say, lmfao. _

_Sorry for the wait, I hope that the amount written here made up for it. I'm seriously hoping that I'm not writing either of them to be OOC, which is the last thing I'd want, so if you do think so please don't hesitate to leave a review saying that._

_Also, don't hesitate to review in general _– _I won't bite, lmfao._

_Other than that, thank you so much for your continued support on this story and thank you to those who are new to it. You guys are seriously the best. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary**:_ Five years were long alone and Jane was tired. The Snap took everything, leaving her with nothing but her thoughts and research that had no use to anyone but herself. But one day, Loki suddenly appears in her home, and against her better judgement, she makes the unexpected decision to nurse the Trickster back to health._

* * *

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Thor/Marvel because if I did I wouldn't have treated my boys so dirty like the Russo Brothers did.

* * *

**Melancholia**, n. Greek  
_A state of deep wistfulness, misery, and withdrawal._

* * *

_**Melancholia**_  
05

"_Oof!_" Jane found herself awake a when Fenrir suddenly jumped onto her bed, drowning her in his slobbery kisses. "Okay, Fenrir, I got it! I'm awake!" she shouted and finding this to his satisfaction, he jumped off with a bark, allowing her to begin her day.

A few seconds of staring at the ceiling, blinking her drowsiness and temptation of falling back asleep away, she forced herself up with a groan. As much as she wanted to crawl back under her warm _comfy_ sheets, she knew that she didn't have the luxury of sleeping the entire day away. Even though she vowed that she'd do exactly that, one day. This was just the Universe's way of telling her that she needed to be patient.

...Hopefully.

She was slow in her movements as she went through her daily morning routine of pitiful self-care that she forced herself to have, and by the end of the fifteen minutes it usually took, she changed into a comfortable sweater and pair jeans. Satisfied that she looked presentable to the world, Jane walked out into the living room and saw Loki reading.

"I never thought I'd see you reading anything written by us," she said with surprise, walking past him to get to the coffee machine.

Loki shrugged, the book in his hand one of her favorites as he looked up. He continued to be laid across the couch, already halfway through the story. "I will enjoy any literature as long as I find it interesting and within my personal standards."

_Personal standards? _"I just, didn't think anything mortal stories would fit into your standards." She opened a water bottle and quickly poured the right amount into the machine before letting it work its magic. "But Lord of the Rings?" _That_ was unexpected.

"The fantasy aspect of the novel is something I find to be quite entertaining and unique. Don't let this fool you; Asgard had its fair share of literature from across the realms, but the concept within this novel is new to me. It's nice to be able to read something completely fresh and...different."

The machine beeped, signaling that it was done. Jane poured the coffee into her mug and turned around, an eyebrow raised as she blew on the hot drink. "Well, I have the entire series on my shelf. Help yourself to it." Satisfied that the coffee was at an acceptable temperature, she embraced the liquid heat that burned down her throat before pouring herself another cup. "Also, the plumber is coming today."

"I see. To fix the water pressure?"

"Yeah." Jane had had _enough_ with her shitty pressure. She knew that living in a home that had a personal well system was going to be a new experience, but what she hadn't counted on was the pressure tank in her basement somehow malfunctioning within the first year she moved it.

It _was_ mostly her fault, that she knew. She had been putting off calling someone for a while but after the whole incident with the bitter water – which never happened again, much to her confusion – and a shower that was more a trickle of water than anything, she knew it was time to throw in the towel and call the plumber. It took a week of living off quick showers and drinking suspicious water, but she was ready to indulge in a painfully hot muscle-relaxing shower after today and not have to worry if she was ingesting some sort of poison.

_And _lo and behold, a knock at her door.

With a grin, Jane quickly placed her mug on the island and rushed over to the entrance. Opening the door, an older man stood before her, a bag of tools at his side.

"Jane Foster?"

"That'll be me." She led the plumber into the home, directing him to where the basement that held the pressure tank and explained the bitter water incident that had occurred. He acknowledged the problems she was having before stomping his way down the stairs to the bottom floor of her home.

"Damn it, I'm going to have to wipe down the floor," she muttered to herself, looking at the dirt he trekked into the house with his boots. She mentally placed it on her to-do list for later as she went back to the kitchen. Within seconds, she was opening the refrigerator door to reach a yogurt pack when Loki spoke in response to her comment.

"I didn't think you cared about trivial things like that," Loki said, causing her to turn around. He sat on a stool, sipping a cup of...coffee with a suspicious glint in his eyes. Looking at where she last placed her own coffee down a few minutes ago, there was no mug, which meant–

–_That was hers!_

"_Hey!_" She reached over the island and grabbed the mug back from him, shooting a glare at the man as he released the cup to her. "Get your own!"

He responded with a smirk that she was finding harder and harder each day to be angry with.

Standing up, she walked over to where she leaned against the counter, her eyes narrowed as she watched him like a hawk open a cabinet door, grabbing his own cup, when suddenly there was a loud _bang_ from below that echoed throughout the house and scaring everyone in the room, the reactions varying. Fenrir jumped up from his bed with a growl while Jane yelped, nearly dropping her coffee. Loki, on the other hand, tensed up and with inhuman strength, shattered the mug in his hand.

Her attention went immediately to Loki. He seemed to be looking at her, but she knew from his blank stare that he was seeing something else entirely as she placed her coffee onto the counter after a few seconds passed. The sound it made caused him to flinch, bringing him out of whatever stupor he was in, revealing to Jane just how shaken he was from the banging below.

The fist that broke the cup had blood dripping onto the floor, a slight look of pain on Loki's face from the injury. Jane's mind and body moved quickly – with a gentle grip, she grabbed his hand and coaxed it open, revealing to her a palm with deep _deep _cuts from the shards.

"Damn it_, _Loki," Jane couldn't help but mutter, ignoring the smaller shards that fell to the ground from her actions. The larger ones in his hands she placed aside onto the countertop, while the ones that were already on the floor, she was careful to avoid by pushing those aside with her feet.

To add to her worries, there was a soft whine from behind her, and whirling around she shot Fenrir a glare to stay away as it was dangerous, and the _last_ thing she needed was to play nurse to her dog as well.

Within seconds, she had whipped out some gauze and a bandage to wrap his fresh wound with; it was second nature to her at this point, to know how to properly wrap a wound. The past few weeks had taught her this new skill that she wasn't that good at it but had hoped to never utilize again.

Clearly, she had been wrong.

Jane purposely ignored how silent Loki was being, his body rigid, while the banging continued below her, a flinch accompanied with every _thump_ that was made. There were so many clear signs she saw over the weeks she had lived with him that directed her to the symptoms of PTSD, which was obvious that Loki had gotten from his traumatic experiences with Thanos and, well, _dying_. She was no psychologist, but after comparing many of his symptoms to late-night research on PTSD, there was no doubt in her mind.

Just like now, more often than not, Jane was finding herself distracting the fallen god when he fell victim to his own mind. "You know, my favorite Tolkien novel is the Hobbit," Jane began, disinfecting the wound before placing the gauze on his hand. "It's the prequel to the novels you're starting out with if you're wondering. My father would read the books with me before I went to bed as a kid and for a while, I wanted to be a novelist because of it. I loved the imagination that came with those sort of fantasy books."

At this, she paused in her actions as she remembered the strange obsession her prepubescent self had with the Lord of the Rings, before chuckling in secondhand embarrassment. "But my parents died when I was thirteen, leaving me to Erik, and so I distracted myself from my pain with school," she continued, hoping that her story was grounding Loki back to Earth. " I forced myself to forget about those novels and dove headfirst into astronomy, math, and then into astrophysics where I fell in love with it. You know the story from there." Then, with quick nimble fingers, she taped the wrap together and looked at her handy work. "You're all good now," she said, turning her gaze up to the taller man.

Loki stared at his bandaged hand before turning to look down at her. There was an intensity in the air between them she didn't like nor understood, and only now realizing how close she was to him when an uncomfortable amount of time passed. She quickly feigned annoyance with the broken mug on the floor and took a step back.

"Don't worry about this – I got it," she said with a smile that she hoped conveyed that, _it really was okay_ _and that she didn't mind_. Thankfully, he understood and instead of helping, took a step back and gave her space when she knelt to the ground and began cleaning. Caught up in her own mind, she nearly missed the soft, _thank you_, that left Loki's lips, but once he walked away, she turned her head up one last time and watched him pick up the novel on his way to the backyard. Fenrir looked at him curiously, and Jane motioned him towards Loki.

He needed the company more than her.

About an hour had passed, the mug incident all cleaned up, when the thundering of boots on stairs forced Jane's attention from the numbers that her scientist friend in Norway had sent to her.

"I'm all done. The pressure in your house should be good to go and while I was down there, I tested your water so you don't have to do the annual check this year too."

"Thanks." She began to open the door when the older man stopped her halfway, his brows furrowed.

"You said something about bitter water, right?" he asked.

"Yes." Jane frowned. "But if you tested it and it turned out all good, it was probably just the tap at that time. Maybe I put soap on it."

The plumber frowned before pulling something out of his pocket. "I mean, I think the water's fine now, but while I was fiddling with your pressure tank, I pulled this off." He handed her a small, rectangular device that felt _much_ heavier than it looked. She quizzically looked at him, only to see the same look of confusion on his face. "I've never seen anything like it, but as far as I could tell it was doing no damage to the tank."

She looked back down at the device, and something about it screamed _alien_ to her, with strange etchings on the buttons. Tightly holding on to it, Jane said her thanks, paid whatever amount she needed too and closed the door.

Now onto a new problem.

The strange device was no larger than a pager and she shook it with curiosity; it sounded as if there was a liquid in it, but nothing else to show her what it could have been. She refused to touch random buttons, afraid that she was right and that it wasn't Earthly made – _which was impossible, right?_

A frown seemed to be permanently etched onto her face as she placed it on the counter, remembering to herself to ask Loki what he thought of it–

_No_, why would she bother him with it? This was _her_ problem and it wasn't as if...he was going to live here forever. He'd be gone before she knew it, so there wasn't even a point in bothering the Asgardian with her problems. She was a _grown-ass woman_ with three degrees under her belt!

She was fine.

Yet, the more Jane tried to remind herself that Loki was not a man she should find herself becoming closer with, the more he lingered in her mind. There was just..._something_ about the black-haired man that she found intriguing. Whether it was the knowledge he constantly tempted her with or just her bad luck with men, she didn't quite know.

Her mind in disarray, she unintentionally starting watching Loki, who was still sitting outside on the wooden steps, reading with his back to her. His broad shoulders nearly hid Fenrir, who happened to be sunbathing out on the grass. Loki seemed to have sensed her stare because he indiscreetly turned his head to the side, looking back at her from the corner of his eyes as well.

As turmoil brewed in Jane's mind, so did Loki's.

A month, he had been with Jane. His wounds were nearly healed, the injury on his throat gone. There were still aches from his..._experiences_ with the Other that would never go away, which he knew, but with the lack of his magic, he was left in a state of powerlessness that had him on edge in ways he did not wish for. If an enemy were to attack him now, he would be as helpless as a typical mortal.

This, was what he told himself, was the reason why he continued to remain hidden to everyone he knew in this small, unnoticeable town on Midgard with Jane. No one would _ever _think to look to her if they thought of him.

Loki found himself continuing gazing at her, the hair that escaped her makeshift bun framing her face.

He knew she found herself insignificant and...plain, as she called herself. Yet, he knew women who toppled kingdoms and societies with_ far less _that could not compare to her. He now understood how Thor became infatuated with the scientist, with her intelligence that far exceeded the dumb oaf and a temper that captivated Loki.

He refused to acknowledge the word that the chaos that was his mind whispered in his ears, but as he forced his attention back to the novel in his hand, his mind betrayed him as it repeatedly reminded him that he found her to be..._beautiful_.

0O0

There were good days when Loki would sit around and try be to his namesake by annoying Jane with his mischievous ways. He'd tease her, taunt her, do anything that would get on her nerves and distract her from whatever task at hand.

But, with good came bad, and today so happened to be one of his off days.

Jane knew it was going to be a rough day for the Asgardian when she awoke to his screaming. Not loud by all means, but she was a light sleeper to begin with, so it didn't take much for the scientist to wake up. Her door was open as well, allowing her to look straight into her living room where Loki slept on the couch, his body facing her.

Or, well, where he _typically_ slept.

This morning, the couch was empty, only the bunched up blankets at one end showing where Loki _had_ been sleeping. Jane took a quick look at the clock on her wall and frowned.

_Five is a little earlier than usual_, she thought to herself, remaining still under her blankets.

She listened to quiet footsteps and saw Loki returning to the couch, water bottle in hand. From the look of it, he didn't seem well. His face was pale, hands slightly shaking. His hair fell across his face, bringing more contrast to the unhealthy pallor and shine of sweat on his skin.

In the beginning, she would have gotten out of bed to see if he was alright; although, she knew he truly was _not_ okay, but she had figured that the thought was what counted. And to be fair, she _had_ done that, only to either be ignored or for him to snap at her to leave him alone.

She may have been bad at reading social cues, but even she wasn't _that_ oblivious.

From the looks of it, Jane could tell that the bags under Loki's eyes told her that he was suffering from the nightmares that plagued him nearly every night, despite his attempts to twist the story of how his nightmares were simple dreams, when in fact, they were sapping his energy, along with it causing him to be ruder and more annoying as ever.

She continued to watch Loki from her bed, her brow furrowed with worry. He sat on the couch, a hand now on his forehead as he hunched forward, his right arm resting on his legs. His face was hidden to her because of his hair, but she could still see his haggard breathing with how his shoulders were shaking, and for a split second she really did consider going to him because...because he seemed far worse than usual.

But Fenrir beat her to it.

Fenrir had woken up and nudged Loki's hand with his snout. She fully expected the god to push the dog away in annoyance, but instead, she watched as he looked at the large malamute before placing his hand atop his head. The dog took that as an _okay _and placed his entire head on Loki's lap, his big sappy eyes looking up at the Asgardian. Loki continued to run his fingers through Fenrir's fur and she witnessed the fear and anger on Loki's face melt away into something she didn't understand.

Seconds later, Jane caught herself staring and forced herself to look away, the heart in her chest thundering in her ears.

The smile.

Loki's smile was so..._gentle_ and _kind_, and there was just_ so much _emotion that changed the way he looked entirely.

And it _scared _her.

She heard a quiet whine and a soft chuckle, which only solidified the fact that she _had_ to be going crazy. The thoughts she refused to acknowledge were pushed to the furthest corners of her mind because she knew that if she _did_ accept those thoughts, it would ruin her.

Jane didn't have it in her to go down that path with an Asgardian, not again. It had hurt her _so _much when she had been with Thor, and while the feelings that were beginning to develop for the man in her living room were only in its beginning stages, she knew that if she didn't take control over it now there would be no going back.

Yet, the mind did many things and sometimes it refused to cooperate with her, so as she fell back asleep, her last thought on her was of how handsome Loki was, sitting with Fenrir in his lap.

* * *

**05 – End**

* * *

**A/N**: _I have no actual excuse as to why this chapter is late besides me falling into a rut all the while trying to catch up on the entirety of the dc rebirth comics (wrong fandom, I know)._

_Anyways, this was all I was able to squeeze out of my dumb mind in the month, I'm sorry. It's a short chapter, I know, and it's unedited too, but I hope its enough until I can finish the next chapter. Please forgive any glaring mistakes as well. Don't forget to leave a review to let me know how you all think about this chapter and the Jane/Loki interactions. I hope the pacing isn't too slow and I promise that you won't have to wait too much longer for some official Lokane. _

_Also. thanks for your continued support – I wouldn't be here writing this if it weren't for you guys._


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